Whats this life for

Yesterday, I found this quote from Bill’s blog.  It’s from The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns:

Christianity is a faith that was meant to be spread-but not through coercion. God’s love was intended to be demonstrated, not dictated. Our job is not to manipulate or induce others to agree with us or to leave their religion and embrace Christianity. Our charge is to both proclaim and embody the gospel so that others can see, hear, and feel God’s love in tangible ways.

I don’t think I can adequately explain, with words, how hard this hit me, but I’m going to try, in my own way, to do so.

A massive amount of thoughts came rushing through my head when I read this.  So many, which didn’t necessarily have anything to do with Bill’s post, that I left some lame comment there and came here.  Here’s a few of those thoughts:

• How often am I trying to convince the lost they’re wrong and I’m right, instead of SHOWING them what being a Christian is all about?
• I couldn’t tell you how many times in the last 3 years I have felt like I am being DICTATED to, rather than fed the Word of God—-IN CHURCH!
• So many people, and I have been guilty of this also, just want to argue.  Argue how THEIR way is the right way…..the baptists are right….no, the catholics have it straight….no, you must be a protestant to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
• In my own experience I have dealt with the previous point.  No, they don’t come out and say it like I did, but let it be known that if you’re not who they say you ought to be, you’re treated differently.  Nevermind “love your neighbor” or “created equally” blah blah blah…..Nevermind if you’re a Christ follower even….if you don’t agree with THEIR doctrine, you’re not good enough.

Now then, you’re not aware…..well, you’re about to be…..but I am perfectly aware that my thoughts are as they are due to some recent circumstances going on at my church.  I have never in my life been so humiliated and offended as I was this past Sunday and I don’t get offended easily.  Especially by people who I know are lost within themselves.  We are to PROCLAIM and EMBODY the Gospel….not just stand up front and yap your jaws cuz you carry the title “pastor”.  That’s not gonna cut it! You can’t stand up there and preach the love and not 5 minutes after you’re done preaching, let Satan spew from your lips.  I’m certain this isn’t the message you want your congregations carrying out to the community.

TO:

PROCLAIM AND EMBODY

PROCLAIM AND EMBODY

PROCLAIM AND EMBODY

PROCLAIM AND EMBODY

I need to read that and speak it over and over again cuz while I don’t particularly enjoy being offended or felt like I’m being shafted, this offense and shafting has caused me to look into my own life and stop trying to COERCE, CONVINCE and FORCE Christianity on people and start LIVING THE GOSPEL.  It has also brought me to the realization and comfort that I’m not EVER going to change ANYONE.  They are who they are and God will deal with them as He does with me.  All I can do is LIVE as He has commanded and HOPE my living for Him can affect someone enough that they  turn toward Him.  Then and STILL, God will do the work in them…..not me.

Reminds me of a Mercy Me song, Bring the Rain……Thank you Lord, for taking me where You have.  If being offended and humiliated is what I need to be closer to You, bring it on!

photo courtesy of ajdesigncompany.com

You all know what that is, right?  That cabinet-lookin-thing that swings out with shelf or two?  At least that’s what I think it’s called.  Yeah, that thing pictured over there.

But whether it is or not is really unimportant today.

It just got me thinking about LAZY SATAN.  Yeah, it’s a bit of a stretch, I know, but that’s how my mind works…..gotta just go with it.

Anyway, if you think that Satan only works in the bad things you do or decisions you make or in the evil thoughts stirring around in your head…..

You’re DEAD WRONG.

There is the LAZY Satan.

The lazy Satan will have you doing nothing.

The lazy Satan will make excuses to not exercise.

The lazy Satan will have the kids make their own breakfast.

The lazy Satan will keep you indoors all day every day.

You get the idea, right?  Satan isn’t all about what he wants us TO DO.  I think he works just as well for himself in what we DO NOT do.

Well, I got tired of lookin at his old, ugly face and I’m KICKIN HIS BUTT lately.

He’s down and you should kick him while he’s there too!

Has lazy Satan ever paid you a visit?  Any helpful tips on how you combat him?  Feel free to share.

photo courtesy of pearsonified.com

Enough of the problems, right?  Or if you’re new to the convo GO HERE and in that post, you’ll find a link to the post that started all of this .

I felt pretty crappy going through this class, listening to lectures about how horrible of a parent that I am.  Ok, so they didn’t say that, but the problems they mention hit home and the damage these problems cause is enough to make ya concerned.

I think it’s important, although obvious, to point out that there are no perfect parents and there are no perfect kids.  If you have a kid who behaves ALL of the time, ALWAYS does what he’s told, ALWAYS gets straight A’s and is simply the perfect human being, call the Smithsonian cuz they need to put him or her on display.  Perfect just doesn’t exist in the world of parents and kids.

BUT….we can do better.  I fully intend to and this is how:

We can sometimes go through stages where our parenting skills are less than stellar and then spend the next indefinite amount of time “making up for it” by overloading them with the “good things” we discussed in the previous post. We think we’re making up for lost time when we’re actually adding worse stress to an already stressful situation.  We owe them better than that!

We don’t owe them 24 hours of our energy or a wedding or a babysitting service, but there are a few things we do owe them.

• A sense of worth–Tell them you’re proud of them–Say I love you…..TOO much.
• Consistent discipline–If it’s wrong today, it’s wrong tomorrow and v/v.
• Privacy and respect–If you demand it, you must give it.  Their rooms should be exactly that…THEIRS. You’re just the manager of the building, making sure it’s clean .
• The courage to say no
• Solid Values
• Honesty and instruction—In sexuality and building relationships, among other things.
• Spiritual foundation–Proverbs 22:6

Not an all inclusive list, but many things for me to work on and I’m hoping they can help you as well.  I think the key for me is down time and praying with my kids.  I’m thinking that instead of rolling my eyes when my kids tell me their bored and quickly providing them something to do, I will take the advice of the professors and consider that statement from them as a job well done on my part.

I’m guilty of as soon as they walk in the door, I’m on them to get the homework started, take the trash out, wash your hands, clean your room…..you get the idea.  With school about to start it’s a good time for a new routine.  They need to unwind…..they need to be BORED.

Lastly and most importantly, I think, I’m going to pray more often with them.  They use the excuse that they “don’t know how to pray” or “don’t know what to say“.  I let that slide all too often.  If I want to be intentional about creating a stress resistant environment for my kids, I need to be consistent with it.  I know how to pray and what to say.  Telling them is one thing, but them hearing me pray for them will eventually rub off.

That’s what I’m talking about folks!!  Teaching them without them knowing that they’re learning .

Anything you’d like to add to this?  I welcome your ideas/thoughts.

Well, are you?

Are your kids?

Before you go calling DCFS, lemme explain.

photo courtesy of cmha.ca

Stress: Simply defined as the over-arousal of the adrenal system.  So the question, I guess, is are you stressed or are your kids stressed?  But would that title have brought you here as quickly? Yeah, you get the idea .

Anyway, we talked a little bit about stress over here and I wanted to get a little more in detail in a separate post cuz WOW has it opened my eyes.

We talked about how divorce causes stress and we could spend days on how many horrible things cause stress for our children, but you may be, as I was, surprised to know the worst kind of stress isn’t caused by “bad things”.

Stress is often perceived as negative things happening in our lives, but as stress is defined up there, it’s simply over arousal.  Now, I don’t know about you, but when my kids are stressing over bad things, they sulk, whine, cry, etc.  While this isn’t good for their well-being, it doesn’t cause nearly the internal STRESS as the good things…..well, what they and/or we perceive as good.

The most damaging stress comes from the things we consider “good things”.  Remember…..the over-stimulation or arousal of the adrenal system.  We, and I do mean WE cuz my kids are WAY over stressed (that’s soon to change—this should be fun) simply do not give them enough down time.

Kids today are definitely under more stress than I ever was.  I’m not ancient and there were Ataris and Nintendos when I was a kid, but I still remember playing at the trussel and riding my bike and doing things that didn’t require an attachment to all things electronic.  Today, I have to force my kids to go outside cuz they would much rather play on the laptop, the Wii (which isn’t all that bad in my view), the DS.  You talk about OVER stimulation causing stress??

Yeah, Houston, we have a problem.

It’s been all about problems lately, I know.  We’ll get into proposed solutions tomorrow.  I say “we” assuming you’ve been involved as I’ve written about 5 or 6 posts in about 30 minutes and scheduled them out .

Feel free to add your thoughts in the comment section.

As the blogoholic that I am, I’ve been looking forward to this for quite some time.

Facebookers and RSSers, ya need to click over to the site and see the NEW WhatsThisLifeFor.

Answering the question in the title of this blog is a HUGE ordeal, thus the HUGE question mark in the background.

I love the look and I simply love the dude responsible for its creation.

I cannot say thank you enough to Mr. CrucialEncounter. He has put a lot of time and headaches into this thing and I’m praying God blesses him greatly for the LOVE portrayed in his actions!

I don’t need to go into a bunch of detail about the new digs.  It’s pretty SIMPLE….just like Andy titled this post.

You can check out more of his awesome writings at www.CrucialEncounter.com….

Thanks Andy!

Toby asked me to write for his new ‘simple’ look.

I’ve sat here for 25 minutes now, typing and deleting.  Typing.  Deleting.  Typing.  What can I say about simple.  The fact is, it’s not easy to be ‘simple’.

Recently I wrote a post, that…. thinking about it, I think sums it up.

There’s a saying that’s tossed around quite a bit lately on Twitter and Facebook, and it has me doing some serious thinking.

If you’re not offending people, you’re doing something wrong.

On social media, people use this to preach against homosexuality, stay at home dads, working moms, and to use profanity as a way to preach the ‘edgy gospel’.  I’ve often wondered where this comes from.  Where’s the Biblical Truth in this. Surely, with so many pastors using that phrase, it has to be in there somewhere…

Jesus did offend people.  A lot of people.  Jesus offended people by healing on the sabbath.  Jesus offended people by hanging out with lepers, whores and outcasts.  Jesus offended people by saying to love your enemies.  Jesus offended people by not saying it’s ok to stone the adulter.  Jesus offended people by eating with sinners.  Jesus offended people by telling them, instead of focusing on everyone else, focus on the plank in your eye.  Jesus was offensive because he cared more about people than he did for the ‘religious laws’.  Jesus loved.

So.  There you have it.  Jesus was offensive.  He loved people so much it was offensive.  He loved people so much that he couldn’t stone them, so much that he would heal them on the ‘religious day off’.  He loved them so much that he told them the Way to eternal life.

How does this translate today?  Does it mean we need to post status updates about the extremist muslim that will surely burn in Hell?  The homosexual or the stay at home dad who is worse than a non believer?  I don’t think so.  I don’t think that’s offensive, I think that’s more of the same.  It’s the same hate that this world is filled with.  It doesn’t surprise anyone, and surely, it can’t offend…

How do we live truely ‘offensive’ lives?  I think the only way is to take up our cross daily, shine the light, and love so much that it makes us uncomfortable.  Go out of our way to help and love the sinner.  Become uncomfortable in living a life in closer parrallel to Jesus.  Become more concerned with loving everyone than we are with the Christian laws we’ve laid down over the years.  Jesus did not call us to judge, and we’ve become all too good at that.  Jesus did not call us to tell people they were going to Hell, he called us to tell people they could go to Heaven.  Jesus did not call us to throw stones, beat up, or crucify people.  He called us to love.  Love our friends, love our God, and love our enemies.

Do you really want to offend people?  I can tell you how.  It’s simple.

Drop the rules, drop the show, drop the judgement, drop the regulations and start loving.

*Disclaimer*I am not a clinical psychologist. I am a student and only wish to share information I have learned. You take advice here at your own risk .

Yesterday I threw a few statistics out via Twitter and there were just too many and I didn’t feel like loading up the stream with stats.  I remembered that’s what I have a blog for .

I’m in the process of taking some classes on child psychology and have come across some shocking stats and good information.  I am learning a ton and becoming a better parent and I think I would be cheating you if I didn’t share the info.

The first stat is worth repeating:

photo courtesy of zunior.com

Every 24 hours 3,000 kids watch their parents go through a divorce.  Wow!  I mean, really….WOW! We can talk about divorce rates all day, but percentages do not tell the story.

The kids…..the kids tell the story and live it.  I’ve lived it.  My parents divorced when I was two years old and if I’m honest I’m not really sure I was all too affected.  That’s a testament of my awesome Mother, but I do know that not all kids have that luxury.  I mean, it’s hard for me to try and picture how life would have been different cuz, well, I have no idea.  Maybe some of you can tell me what I missed cuz really, it’s all about perspective.  I imagine I could take the whole “whoa is me” route and blame every bad thing I have done on the fact that my parents were divorced and maybe my brother and sister have a different view as they were 9 and 10 years older, but from my point of view, it’s life and is what it is.

I wish I could get all complex on ya and preach on how my experiences in a divorced family were detrimental, but I don’t have that for ya.  What this class has given me though is the assurance that stats don’t lie and I am an extremely blessed and rare product.

Some stats:

• Suicide rates in teens have TRIPLED since 1958.
• High cholesterol rates in kids has jumped from 25 to 41% in the past 10 years.
• Stress induced cardiovascular disease has DOUBLED in the last 10 years.

Are these stats solely because of divorce?  No, but I promise you divorces aren’t helping the matter.  Divorce is the act of ending a marriage.  The word is over simplified as it is so much more than that.  The stress in the family; on the kids; cannot be told in one word.  We will dig deeper into stress on another day, but I’m sure you understand, stress is NOT good, especially for kids.

The thing that stuck with me most wasn’t a stat, but a line from one professor.  He said, “your kids view of God is 95% based on YOUR relationship with God.” That hit me pretty hard cuz it’s SO true.  Our kids know the God that we show them.  We can’t pray during meals and at night and read the Bible about giving and loving and then scream at them, scream at our spouses, cuss like sailors, make fun of people…..I could go on and on.  All I can think of are kids asking questions like…..

If God is good, why are you and Mommy not together anymore?

If God is good, why are you yelling at Mommy?

If God is good, why are you yelling at me?

If God loves us and is always there for us, where is He now?

We, as adults, can handle those questions, but our yelling, screaming and living any way other than the way we’re commanded to is not creating Christians.

Those actions create atheists.

Lots more on this stuff to come, but for today…..

Are your parents still married?  Are they divorced?  If so, how old were you and can you see, today, how it has impacted your life?  If they’re still together, how has THAT impacted you?

I know…..lots of questions….Sorry

Ok, go!

Ever have the thought, “man, I wish I could do more, make a bigger difference, impact someone’s life”?

Today I can help you out with that!

Today and every Thursday I join a group of bloggers for Compassion Thursday. We highlight a child from Compassion International who has been waiting for a sponsor for AT LEAST six months….we put them on our sites and go SOCIAL NETWORK CRAZY until we find them a sponsor.

Today you can change Rinni’s life. Here’s a little about Rinni:

Personal and Family Information:
In her home, Rinni helps by running errands. She lives with her father and her mother. Her father is sometimes employed as a laborer and her mother maintains the home. There are 5 children in the family.

Rinni is not presently attending school. Playing house and jumping rope are her favorite activities. She also attends church activities regularly.

Here’s how it works:  Click Rinni’s picture which will take you to her page.  It’s smooth sailing from there.  You sponsor her, write her letters, get letters from her and have the knowledge that you are giving her opportunities in life that otherwise she would never have.

Does it get any better than that?  I think not.

Prayerfully consider helping Rinni.  Already sponsor a child?  You can help too by linking to this post on any of your social networking sites.  Make a difference.  Do SOMETHING today.

Peace!

The aforementioned group of bloggers:

Shawn Wallace Scot Longyear Andy McMahon Andrea McMahon Adam Thomas

Check em out!

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I just can’t wrap my mind around it.  To understand, fully, what that means, has to make you wonder why we’re not ALL Christ followers.

WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS!

photo courtesy of theskywalker.com

All the junk we carry around; things we’ve done; people we’ve hurt.  ALL of that….He knows.  And STILL loves us.  He gave everything….His LIFE.…for us.

Sometimes I get so tired of ME and I pray, “Lord, make me small….smaller than I am.”

I sit here….for YEARS….trying to make the WhatsThisLifeFor kingdom when I wasn’t put here for ME.

But there are so many distractions…..But He knew there would be and he said “set your mind on things above, not on things of this earth.”

We get distracted and try to please US and others, but the only reason we’re here is for Him and His Kingdom.

We MUST loosen the grip we have on this world…the grip the world has on us….and just LOVE.

It is SO easy for me to type that, but trust me that I KNOW all too well how hard it is to live that out.

There’s iPhones and iMacs and iPads and Google this and Google that.  With all of what we have going on, how can we expect to have time for Him or building His Kingdom?

How do we have time to forgive?  To serve?  To Love…..The GREATEST of all these is LOVE.

Do we throw away the distractions?  No, you KNOW I’m not saying that, but MAN we gotta do something.  We HAVE to set aside some time for Him and I’m not just talking about that 15 minutes you spend in the Word….or that hour you spend in the Word.  Sure, we need to be in the Word, but at some point we need to be out LIVING the Word.  I’m talking about intentional kindness…..again, LOVE.  Maybe some need to change their routines and shake things up a bit, but I do understand those who do not have much wiggle room or are stuck in one place or another.  There are SO MANY things….Kingdom building things….we can do in front of the computer screen…..from the iPhone.

Send an email, text, tweet…..whatever….to someone….ANYONE…..you never know who might need a pick-me-up.  I’m betting that God will lead you to the person who needs it the most.

Sorry for the rant folks….I’ve just been convicted lately.  Convicted by the Word, by people, like Andy, who have been convicted as well.  Convicted to spread the love and be DONE with the hate that permeates this society.

Make a difference today…..for someone other than you.

14 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.15 No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

A year ago today, this happened.

I didn’t handle it well……

She was a lil rough around the edges, but she was OK…..

But she eventually got better, giving credit to and thanking Jesus for catching her…..

She loved to look at her “purple eye” in the mirror….

And cuz we were extremely bored up there, we played whatever she wanted…..

After the roughest 7 days of my life, we came home…..

Thank you Jesus, for catching Chaya and for making her aware that you did. I will NEVER forget it and neither will she.

We remember…..and know……He is God!

Healed!

In the midst of the changes between here and Posterous I lost sight (a bit) of where I was in the anger mini-series.  I’m not sure it qualifies for a series or a mini-series for that matter, but I wrote about it HERE and HERE and you can check those out if ya want.

This will be the last post (for now) on the subject and thus we’re angry no more .

The scripture today is James 1:19 (NLT):

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

This verse really sums it up for me; each and every word.  I really like the New Living Translation using “understand this”. Kinda gets your attention, huh?  Not that we should need catchy phrases to get us focused on the Word, but I like it direct and to the point.

So, UNDERSTAND THIS..…then we get to the dear brothers and sisters. YES, we’re family…..ALL of us.  From your buddy at work to the guy next door that irritates you to no end….we’re all in this together.  It’s not just for some of us or for those who can handle it the best, the Word is comprised of Christ-breathed instructions on how to live your life.  This is no joke folks!

Now then, I think slow to speak and slow to get angry are compelling and convicting and also stand alone.  That’s a given right?  When we’re talking about dealing with anger, we need to slow down and think before we speak.  I’ve had the better part of 37 years with this issue and it’s not an easy one to break.  I’m a pretty quick thinker and my mind is at work, ready to tell you off, with precise words and inflection, before you’re done with what you’re saying to irritate me.  It’s hard to stop that mid stream.

But I think the key is in the middle…..we MUST be quick to listen. Like I said, I’m done listening half way through what you’re saying cuz I’m thinking about my response already.  That’s where I had to change.  I had to listen to all of what you were saying and instead of a response being formulated in my head, I was thinking of where whatever you were saying was coming from.  What happened previously to anger you.  Or maybe I’m just hearing you wrong and you’re not trying to get at me.  I couldn’t tell ya now many times that has happened with me on the other end cuz I guess I’m a hard guy to read.  People were always thinking I was angry or that my intentions were to cause hurt.  Sometime they were right, but most of the time I was just being me.

When I LISTEN….and not only listen, but when I’m QUICK to listen, I take all of these factors into consideration and after my mind has done all that, I don’t have the energy to be mad .  Now that was meant to be funny, but it’s kinda true.  If I have exhausted all I can think of to talk myself out of being angry, chances are I’m not going to be because my focus is on what God has taught me.  Which brings us to another key….let’s call it the KEY of the key…. I don’t know about you, but when I’m focused on Jesus Christ, it’s tough for me to be angry.

And therein lies the solution.  Get in the Word…..enough so that it soaks in…..and the Word will guide you as you go through life.

Gotta love it!